Reflections on 2009

These photos were shot by Tom Couture. I did my hair and makeup. Other photos from this set can be seen in issue 10 of Bachelor Pad Magazine. I liked the wallpaper in this kitchen and decided it must be shot. This house used to belong to a foot fetish producer I've worked with, so it only seems fitting to be leg-focused.

2009 had a terrible start. I was depressed for the first couple of months due to this terrible event, and then I started to get back into modeling and fetish gigs. Artistic outlets are a sort of therapy. I transferred all my energy into it. I traveled. I partied. I had fun. My soul somewhat repaired itself. I believe everything happens for a reason. You can find the good in hindsight. This summer the part of me that had bandaids half-heartedly stuck-on became filled with happiness. It's still hard sometimes, but only for reasons that are temporary, and this temporary pain is totally worth it.

I'm sorry for being so vague.

There was the build, and there was the magnificent turn. Is it all just the power of thinking? I find myself feeling rather blissful in even this dreary cold that drives many to seasonal depression. Despite my tardiness with several assignments, I made the Dean's List this semester. The internship I did for Portland Magazine came through with two published stories in the latest issue. I was also published in issue 38 of Ol' Skool Rodz and (as mentioned above) issue 10 of Bachelor Pad Magazine, which both came out in December. I have met many amazing people, some who have even affected me on a spiritual level with their positive vibes. I have worked with many amazing photographers, hair stylists, makeup artists, and designers.

So much good has come into my life. I am truly blessed to have the friends I have, to have the family I have, to have the love I have in my life.

The only bad thing since the turn has been my job situation. Funding in the mental health field just keeps getting worse. The agency has downsized significantly just this year. Christmas always brings more layoffs. I've been lucky to get 1 shift a week as of late. I guess that's the balance in things. There has to be something to remind you to appreciate what you have--something on the negative side to help you appreciate the positive even more. The job thing is tricky. It's my last semester, my classes are more spread out and all over the place than usual because I decided to take the classes I wanted to take rather than choosing classes in relation to the times of the other ones I'm taking for the sake of minimizing the days I travel in. This semester, my schedule is scattered which will make for a difficult time in job scheduling. I need weekends free for travel and to see my mister. Perhaps a job that only requires every other weekend... *wishful thinking*

Anyway, enough of my wandering thoughts...the point of this entry is that 2009 was overall an awesome year and I'm hoping it will only get better in 2010.